If there's anything I wish I could do, it would be to speak another language fluently. You would be surprised how many people I deal with on a weekly basis that don't speak any English at all. It's really more frustrating than you could imagine. It's also unique how people try to cope with this little problem. Some people (specifically a small Chinese lady that has stayed here a few times) choose to scream and wave their hands frantically like some sort of deranged bird thinking that on the 3rd flap, I'll suddenly speak Chinese! There are others that speak the only English words they know really slow. Yep, that's the way to do it! Surely saying "YES" over and over again in the slowest way possible and dragging it out is better than giving me your last name. I don't think these people realize that I'm just as frustrated as they are! All you have to do when you check in is show me your Identification. Passport, license, military ID... it doesn't matter. Just show me a piece of paper with your name on it and I can check you in within 5 minutes and you don't have to jump up and down in the lobby or do the chicken dance until I finally understand what part of Zimbabwe you're from. Another favorite of mine is when they just don't speak at all. They just stand in front of me, staring blankly, while I ask for their last name. This one guy was in front of me for literally 5 minutes just being completely quiet the whole time I was talking to him and I'm pretty sure he was trying to send me some sort of telepathic signs that he spoke Swahili and if I would have given him just 5 more minutes, I would have been fluent enough in Swahili to tell him where the bathroom was. All in all, my desk clerk experience has prompted me to at least try and learn a few new languages or at least the basics because if I see one more person do something similar to a sacrificial ritual in order to check them in, I might actually lose my mind.
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