Working at a hotel that's located in a college town, I get several applications a day for students looking for part time work or even some townies that need full time jobs. I never really look at any of them until I need to hire someone. It just so happens that I am currently hiring and had to pull out the applications and resumes that I have stored in a dusty old file cabinet. After reading some of them, I wanted to rip my hair out. The job I'm hiring for is a front desk position at a hotel so you really just need to be friendly, work well with the public and be slightly knowledgeable about computers. Everyone that comes on is trained, so you don't even need hotel experience! Most of the applications were ok until we get to the part that says: "Please list any skills or certifications you have that will make you a beneficial part of our team." You would not BELIEVE what some people wrote under this section. Let me start from application # 1.
SKILLS AND CERTIFICATIONS THAT QUALIFY PEOPLE TO WORK AT A HOTEL:
"Animal handling and milking cows." <--- What.the.fuck. Yes, this will come in handy with all those cows we milk and animals we handle here in this pet free hotel.
"I am a very accomplished meditator." <--- No words.
"I really enjoy the outdoors and I was an occasional hiker until I broke my leg." <--- Good thing you'll be working indoors with people and STANDING ALL DAY!!
"Friendly." <--- I guess that's a skill?
"Strong work ethic, Attention to details, Self-motivated, Strong work ethic." <--- Kind of cancels out your attention to details, huh?
"I type without looking at the keyboard so I never have to take my eyes off of the guest." <--- Hahahaha What in the world?! Really?!
"I am a certified yoga and Kama Sutra instructor." <--- Oookk...
"I am only used to typewriters, but I'm sure I will be able to catch onto the computer system quickly because I am a fast learner." <--- If you were a fast learner, then why the hell are you still using a type writer? And to be clear, this person was only 27.
Honestly, that's not even close to half of them. There were so many ridiculous responses on the skill section, I couldn't bear to read anymore. I mean, what in the world were some of those people thinking?? I could NEVER see myself putting anything like that on my resume or an application. I really hope they find work, because I'm sure as hell not about to hire someone that lists meditation or milking cows as a skill for working in a hotel. I'll try to post some more funny ones when I can bring myself to sort through them some more!!
