A few days ago, I met the most interesting guest since I've been working here. Now, when I say interesting, I don't mean the funniest, smartest or weirdest... I just mean he was, well, interesting. He was an older man wearing denim bell bottoms that were dyed red at the shins, a t-shirt that looked like it might have been made out of paper, a red bandana with yellow flowers tied around his neck and a knitted shawl that was so big it nearly consumed him. The oddest part about his wardrobe was the fact that he wore a name tag reading: "Wally Z., Father Earth." Now, I tried not to judge but the only thing going through my head was "old hippy that never let the dream die." When he walked over to the desk, he was very polite and said he just had a few questions. He fired off question 1, "Where's the pool?" Obviously, I pointed him toward the pool. Then he said, "I forgot my suit." I assumed he meant his swimsuit since he had just asked me where the pool was but when I started telling him that Wal Mart or Target would probably have men's swimsuits, he just shook his head and responded, "I'm here for a wedding and I left my luggage back at home, including my suit. Where might one purchase a suit?" I was a little surprised that such a strange man in such a strange hippy outfit would be caught dead in a suit but I started rattling off mens' stores in the area, when he abruptly stopped me. "No ma'am. I don't shop at department stores. I would like to purchase my suit from the Salvation Army or a Good Will." Ok.. I'm not hating on him for shopping at the Good Will. Hell, I bought stuff from there last weekend, but don't come and ask me where to buy a men's suit for a wedding and then act surprised when Good Will isn't my first suggestion. I gave him the directions to a few thrift stores and then answered a few odd questions for him, including the location of a local church. It was a Catholic church so I asked if he'd like me to give him the mass schedule as well and he replied, "No. I don't actually worship or believe in such things. I just like to go and watch the people." Umm.. that's a little creepy but ok. After I answered all of his questions, I expected him to go away but he just stood at the desk rambling on and on about so many things. It was quite entertaining to listen to him talk about why the fucking sky is blue and all that but I was really busy. Finally, he took the hint and left. After everything had died down, he came back and started chatting me up again. He had a pleasant speaking voice but I had no clue what half of the things he said to me meant or even what he was talking about sometimes. He talked about coyotes, mulch, sour gummy worms, and I'm pretty sure he even gave me a brief analysis of why corporate Amercia is ruining lives and destroying Mother Earth. I wanted to ask about his name tag when he was talking about Mother Earth (his wife?) but I never got the chance. He also just kept thanking me repeatedly for such a lovely breakfast and telling me what a good job I did. I had to keep reminding him that I don't actually cook or put the breakfast out, but I'd certainly let the kitchen staff know how much he enjoyed it. After talking to Wally for a while, I figured out that he didn't actually have a hotel room but was squatting on the sleeper sofa in someone else's room after they refused to let him wander around aimlessly or sleep outside all night. Finally, Father Earth took off towards the thrift stores in hopes to purchase a new suit. I was quite sure he wouldn't find a suit but maybe a sports coat and collared shirt. Several hours later, right before switching shifts, Wally Z walked in with 3 or 4 bags in his hand. He sprinted up to the desk, ignoring all the other guests I was trying to help and just starts pulling clothes out and putting them on the counter. He was so freakin' excited too and just kept saying "Look how much you've helped me!! I got an entire suit, socks, tie, belt and shoes all for $17! THANK YOU!!" First, I wasn't sure why he was thanking me. I only gave him directions. It's not like I made the suit or bought it for him, but I just kept smiling and telling him how nice it all looked because the other guests looked so fucking startled by this oddball. He was even holding the tie and shirt up to himself to show me how well everything matched. "I got a red tie so I could have a little flash and I've never been a flashy guy! I don't know what's gotten into me!" At this point, it was clear that he hadn't been around people or in society for some time now. He was finally the guy wearing a suit, staying at a hotel and having lunch with friends - something I was quite sure he had never done or at least hadn't done in a really long time. I had to laugh and was actually happy for him because God knows, it would take a lot more than $17 worth of clothes and a free hotel breakfast to make most people happy. When I finally got him to stop scaring the other guests, he asked if he could hug me. I was a little reluctant because it's super weird to hug a guest, but he just seemed so happy with me (still not sure why) and he just kept insisting. So, folks, I hugged Wally Z., Father Earth. There are so many things I don't know and probably will never know. Like, whose wedding was he going to and how did he get invited? I'm pretty sure he doesn't have a permanent address and probably lives in a brush shelter like Cody Lundin did. Also, why did he wear a name tag and call himself Father Earth? So many mysteries that came with Wally, but I do know I will never, ever forget him and I'll be continuously hoping for another encounter with him one day. What a good day that will be!
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