Sausage Batter?

People are dumb:

This post may cause you to lose faith in the intelligence of the human race (if you haven't already).

A few weeks ago, I was standing at the desk and a guy walked up and said "Umm, can you help me? I did something bad." He looked worried so I was hesitant to even ask what it was but I took a big gulp and asked anyway. Apparently this idiot poured SAUSAGE GRAVY in the WAFFLE MAKER because he thought the sausage gravy was batter. Let's examine the steps he had to take to make this happen.

1. The cup he used to scoop up the sausage gravy was a batter cup. They are placed on a big tin that says "BATTER." It's in big, bold letters. 

2. The waffle station and the sausage gravy are on opposite ends of the bar. So he had to take a batter cup from the waffle station, walk all the way to the other end of the bar to scoop up the gravy and walk back to the waffle iron.

3. He had to disregard the ladle used for scooping sausage gravy, because he used a plastic cup to scoop it up and drip it all along the breakfast bar and the floor. 

Let's not forget the fact that sausage gravy is hot, brownish and has chunks of sausage in it.  Waffle batter is cold, vanilla colored and completely smooth.

Needless to say, we had to unplug the waffle iron because the sausage gravy was burning in it and causing a horrible smell. Instead of unplugging the machine when it happened, the guy walked to the desk to let us know something was wrong so by the time I got over to the breakfast bar the waffle iron was just disgusting with charred meat and weird juice. The kitchen guy was probably the unhappiest about all of this because he had a horrible mess to clean. 

What do you tell someone that does something that stupid? I mean, all I could do was smile and tell him it was OK. At least he stopped by the desk before checking out to see if he had any extra charges because of the little mishap. Unfortunately, we can't charge people for being complete idiots.

One Smart Cookie

Remembering where you need to be is rocket science:
As I've said in my previous posts, I always try to be as cheerful as possible when I get to work in the mornings. It's hard, because I'm not a morning person and it's made even harder when I'm dealing with absolute ass clowns. I had a "gentleman" come in this morning to check in. First of all, check in is at 4 p.m. but we had some rooms ready so it wasn't a huge deal. Then comes the ordeal. I can't find his name in the system and the confirmation number he kept repeating (as if saying it 15 freaking times is going to make your reservation magically appear) wasn't there either. I know for a fact this isn't one of our confirmation numbers because it's longer than our's and it starts with a different number. I asked him politely if he's sure he had a reservation with us. He proceeded to tell me he isn't a moron and he'd know if he'd booked somewhere else. I told him I could give a room and that there was no problem, but of course, that solution didn't satisfy him. He wanted to find his reservation and when he started raising his voice, I literally tried to give him everything he wanted. I even discounted the room rate for him but that was not good enough either. How on Earth could we lose his precious reservation and why won't his confirmation number work?! Then he told me he's pretty sure he was prepaid so I should give him the room for free. Suuuuuuuuure!! Let me get right on that. My boss would be totally ok with me giving you a room for free simply because you told me you had already paid for one, even though I have no evidence or documents saying so. He got all huffy when I told him I couldn't do that and then yells "WHATEVER!!," takes his keys and marches away to his room. One hour later, he came back and told me he had to check out. I had to ask if there was a problem even though I know he already hates me and that there was sure to be something else for me to deal with. Get ready for it, folks. He did have a reservation, JUST NOT HERE!! I couldn't stop smiling and he could clearly see how much of a dumbass I thought he was. When I asked him where his reservation was, he was reluctant to say but then admitted that it was in a po-dunk town about 30 minutes away. Absolutely, I realize that you meant to book your reservation here and can definitely see how you got us confused with Hooker's Delight Motel in Hobbitown, West Virginia, jackass!!! It's just so satisfying when they finally realize they are, indeed, as smart as a bag of hair and I was right all along. That's all for today but it's only 10 a.m. so who knows what else could happen!